Gratitude and Prayer

Prayer is a powerful tool and I realized Sunday that I only prayed with my junior high kids once last week! So today, before they were going to spread out for homework time, we sat together and everyone shared two things they liked about the day and then we prayed. A lot of them put on this cover that they hate their lives and hate everything about their days, and I want to change that. I want them to start thinking more positively. So this is one way towards optimism. Every day we are going to start out with this before homework. Then after our gratitude time, we prayed together. I asked for prayer requests and one girl's hand shot up requesting that we pray for the people of Haiti - that God would provide for them and heal them and that they'd rescue everyone possible and that they'd get their lives back. I wash shocked that a 12-year-old would say all of that, but it was so cool. So she led our prayer time and then I finished up. Another girl asked why some people say that God hates Haiti and that's why He let the earthquake happen. She didn't understand why God would be mean. It was an awesome discussion where we talked about God who is a God of love, and we talked about the story of Job, and that suffering produces endurance and draws us closer to God. It was a great and fun-filled day. And to top it off, some kids are really excited for our after-school program this week and are going to ask their parents if they can stay longer and hang out!!

Yay God Moments

Two most beautiful sights of this season: snow-capped mountains and rainbows.

The snow is so low that I could see the bottom of it on the mountains under the clouds today. It is so majestic and the mountains look so powerful as they point to our Creator. Then the rainbow I saw was so incredible. ROY G BIV. Every color was present and thick and so vibrant. Such a promise of peace from God and I love these reminders of who He is and that He loves me and has given me these things all for His glory. Wow God...you strike again!

Staying Afloat

Ugh...I'm working on my calculus homework and I feel old because I have forgotten so much math and now I'm trying to relearn it without starting at the beginning. It used to be fun to me - solving the puzzle. But now that I am struggling, it's no fun. I'd rather just play on Facebook or watch TV or crochet :) I think it's funny that I graduated college and yet I am still doing work. I am doing more this semester than I did last semester. Craziness!

I'm also struggling because some of my best friends don't support my decision to teach and work with youth. They don't understand my passion nor have they seen me in action, but they are my friends. They should support me even if they disagree and for dumb reasons too. Like when God tells me to do something with my life, I'm going to do it and I'd hope people would be like "Ok if God said so, then that must be the way even if I hate it" but that's not what I'm getting...I'm trying to keep a positive attitude.

I'm trying to stay afloat.

Oh my junior high kids were much better today. Cracked the whip at the beginning and made them stand in the rain since they couldn't get in a line fast enough...some rolled their eyes at first but their attitudes changed once we got upstairs and were hanging out. Yay God!

Bad Cop Now, Good Cop Later

Back into junior high I went today, and it didn't go like I thought. They are a tough group of kids and I felt like they had their guard walls up today - like who is this new counselor that's being a bad cop and telling me I can't chew gum at camp. And yet that girl still put the gum in her mouth! It seemed like a ton of the rules were not enforced well that I am now cracking down on, and it was hard to play bad cop on my frist day. I know later on I will be respected for being tough. (Oh how much fun I'll have when I'm a parent.) I want to make an amazing program and really get to know these kids on a deeper level and I guess I just was expecting to be at that level because I'm already at that level with so many other junior high kids from other sites and some former Jr high now high school kids....I miss the group of kids I had when I started working in junior high three years ago. But now that I think about it, I had the same "walls up" experience and it took time to break them down. But the time and determination I had then paid off because I've had so many opportunities to impact kids' lives and a lot of those kids still talk to me now. There is one girl who gave me the hardest time during junior high. Some days she'd be super sweet but then turn bipolar and flip out on me an hour later. I made her so mad so many times because she couldn't do what she wanted. I called her out on countless occasions because of things that would come out of her mouth or what she was wearing or how she acted like a Queen Bee. I every remember a time I made her cry because she was not happy at being called out on her behavior or the hard wake up call Kimber and I were giving her about consequences of her actions. Though there were so many bad days, there were many more good days and now our relationship is like running through a field of daisies - smooth, relaxing, and happy. :) She is even attending high school group at our church. When I think of that girl, I remind myself to stay tough but loving and in time I'll have more excellent relationships with this new group of kids.

I will bless the Lord

When I woke up this morning I was really excited for my day. I was going to have breakfast with my best friend, hang with her for a while, then cook with my sister and watch the Chargers win a playoff game. But it seems like everything has gone wrong. Don't get me wrong - it wasn't a horrible day. It's just that nothing went according to plan. Marla and I went to Starbucks for our coffee. They were out of sugar-free vanilla syrup so I got sf hazelnut, which I normally love. But my drink was terrible! I tried to keep my cool and not freak out and complain like I honestly usually do. So then we went next door to get bagels and I didn't spend the minimum so I got charged a 50 cent fee. Okay again not a big deal...not what I wanted but whatever it's only 50 cents. Again tried to keep my cool and be nice. As I was waiting for my bagel, I felt my cross necklace and I kept telling myself to be an example for Christ. Then we went to JoAnn's fabrics. But everyone and their grandmother was buying fabric and we had to wait 40 minutes just to get Marla's fabric cut. Third time - not what we wanted but we made the best of the situation. The afternoon continued that way everywhere I went. I was making chicken wings - didn't marinate them long enough or add enough hot sauce so they were alright, but not amazing. Then the Chargers sucked and threw away the game. All day things were so blah but not amazing. So as I'm waiting for Marla to get home from work, I was reading Psalm 34 and here's how it starts:

"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth."

Totally the verse for the day. Nothing went right, but I'm still praising God. I'm alive and well. I have eternal life. I have amazing friends. I am in San Diego. I have a super fun and sweet sister. I am blessed by the Lord and so I give Him praise. Even when my day doesn't go as I planned it, God is still good.

Chocolate Chips

I love long car rides by myself for one reason: I have a ton of time to reflect on my life. Last night was a usual time of reflection, but I was thinking a lot about my career path and how certain moments in my life have influenced my decision to become a junior high math teacher. If my life was a chocolate chip cookie, these people and these events definitely are the chocolate chips that may have seemed like a nut at the time.

So Chocolate Chip #1: Mrs. Moon
She was my seventh and eighth grade math teacher who definitely encouraged me to be the best I can be and to never settle for mediocrity. She helped develop my love for math with her weekly challenge problems and her overall love for the subject. I also loved that she taught our class more than just math. She taught us lifelong lessons to have dreams and goals, but to never forget the people in your life that helped you achieve them. I kept in touch with her all through high school and college, and then she was diagnosed with brain cancer a couple years back. Her struggle became a huge testimony of her faith in Christ and even in her last few days she was still fighting strong. She cared more about others than she did herself, and she would email me frequently to encourage me in my pursuit of my passions. I want to be a math teacher like her that makes differences in the lives of students.

Chocolate Chip #2: Pacific Camps
When I was in fourth grade I knew I wanted to work at camp - getting paid to play with kids? Come on - who wouldn't want that job?! I started my junior year working with 1st-5th. And every break in college I came home to work at camp. For the past five years, I've work with every age group, but junior high has been my favorite. I have built so many relationships and watched kids mature and grow in Christ. It's been amazing. I love this age because I feel like I can relate best to what they are going through, and we can have meaningful conversations. This is also the age where they start to question things and explore a lot of stuff that can either harm or benefit their lives. However, they are still moldable, and they need an older person in their lives to guide and influence them.

This leads me to Chocolate Chips #3 and #4: Bud and Manny
If it wasn't for these two men who saw something in me, I would never have been given the opportunity to serve in junior high and would not have discovered my passion for this age group. Because of Manny's encouragement and leadership, I have learned how to be a junior high leader and how to have fun and be crazy with this age group. Because of Manny, I've eaten two entire habaneros, dyed my hair blue, gone paintballing twice, conquered my fear of swimming in the ocean, and learned how to mentor junior high kids. I've learned how to go above and beyond the call of duty, which totally makes the junior high counselor. These kids need more than a 9 to 5 person, and I've enjoyed being that. But also because of Manny, I considered a career working with youth, and my best option was teaching. Bud has continued to give me the opportunity to work with this age group and I am so grateful that he is paying me and giving me enough hours to work with these kids.

Chocolate Chips #5, #6, and #7: My mom, brother, and cousin Sally
These three people are all incredible teachers. My mom is an excellent teacher, but I never wanted to become a teacher because she hated it when I was younger and she always came home tired. I remember her talking about how much she hated it and all because of that I didn't want that career path. I think though that my mom really helped me learn how to lead and teach effectively. My brother is a natural teacher, and he has inspired me to help others. My cousin is also a teacher and I have listened to her talk to my mom and swap teacher stories.

I guess teaching is in my blood and I really hope that God continues to put more chocolate chips in my life as I pursue my dream.

A New Beginning

So it seems like everyone has started a blog recently and I've enjoyed following them. Then today I read Marla's theology journal and I was encouraging her to start a blog when I thought I should just make one for myself too. So here it goes.

I graduated college and now I'm in the working world. Joy right? Well, yes and no. I am so happy to be back working at camp because building relationships with junior high kids and watching them grow up is definitely my passion. But on the flip side, I'm not in San Diego with my best friend and that is the hardest thing in the world. It hasn't even been a full week and I miss her like crazy. We talk on skype every day - multiple times - and we text but it cannot compare to just being in her presence. She is going through hell right now and I wish I could be there to give her a hug, but all I can do is rely on my God to wrap His arms around her and pray that she finds a light. It's a new beginning - starting this semester apart from each other...

I've titled this blog On Wings Like Eagles taken from the Isaiah 40 passage because these past few weeks I have been relying whole-heartedly on the strength of Lord, not my own. And of course He has provided for me. Because of Him I am soaring high on wings like eagles and I'm praying that I'd stay like that and that Marla too would be renewed and fly high on wings like eagles.