Lessons Learned

A week has just about passed, and I have been pulled and yet fulfilled in so many ways. Taking care of 4 energetic children this week plus balancing work and school was a lot for one week. And yet, I learned so much. Though it was exhausting at times, it had its rewarding moments too. Here are some things I learned this week:

The Deep Thoughts:

1. Pray always. This was huge. Every morning on the less than 5 minute drive to school, I had one of the kids pray. I don't know about them, but it sure started my day off great hearing them talk to Jesus, and it helped remind me to continually pray for those munchkins during the day. Then, a kid always prayed at dinner. Then, I'd pray for them at bed time too. What an amazing opportunity to pray with children and be an example of Christ to them.

2. Rearrange your life around your kids to meet their needs. In a way, parents have to be selfless. They have to put their priorities aside sometimes to tend to their children. However, spending time with kids is rewarding! Multiple times this week I would have loved to get some schoolwork or other chores done, but seeing the kids so excited to see me or want to talk to me or play with me reminded me that I need to pour into their lives. Even if it was just blow drying their hair for 5 minutes, I had the chance to bless them and see their warm smiles (and yes, I dried Cooper's hair twice, Hope's, and Faith's!). The best example of this that I can share was Wednesday. First of all, Eddie came home sick at 9:30 am. I had to leave work, though I got some stuff done with him at home. I had to go back to work, but I was able to get off a little early. My class started at 7, but I told Amy I would come home to help cook dinner and shower the kids. When I got home around 5:30, Faith was all excited about the art show fundraiser at school. I hadn't even heard of this, but it sounded important and so I said, well let's eat really fast and go. We can zip in and out, get back in time for showers, and then I can start my class. Man, we rushed dinner and booked it to the art show. The car ride alone was hilarious. Crazy laughter :) Then the art show was fantastic. The kids were so excited to see their art displayed and even more thrilled that we bought it. I especially liked that we were stand-in "Mrs. Harley" and could put Chalena's name on all their art! What talented kids she and Ed have, and what a joy to provide the support, encouragement, and accolades to the kids. Back home, shower time was silly and wet, but just another 15 minutes we could spend with the kids instead of doing things for myself.

3. Parenting is a full-time responsibility and it takes two! Having sick kids kept me on my toes and near my cell phone at all times praying I would not get a call that someone was sick or hurt. I wouldn't say I was worried, but I just wanted the best for the kids all week, and Amy and I worked hard that they always had food, support, and a friend to play with. And, it definitely takes two to raise kids. It was awesome having the support of another adult to reinforce rules, compare notes regarding children behavior or needs, some to relieve you for 5 minutes, and then someone to sit and talk with at the end of the day. I don't know how single-parents do it, but I definitely have a lot of respect and empathy for them. Actually, I now I have a ton of respect and empathy for ALL parents - what a huge job, especially when kids are sick!!

And now the fun stuff:

1. Stay on top of the dishes. Boy did that sink pile up with every meal! I got into a rhythm of doing the dishes regularly so that there were always clean cups and the kitchen was always clean and organized. At least one area of the Mommy-life could be calm!

2. Buy in bulk. Important reminder especially with so many kids. I think we went through two gallons of milk, two jugs of apple juice, almost two pitchers of Crystal Light, a ton of other food. But it's not just about the food and liquid - it's even the plastic bags!

3. Kids can talk and make tons of noises in their sleep and it does not mean that they are in trouble. So the first night, there were a lot of noises coming out of a room, and we were so paranoid or worried, but then by night 3 I realized that everything is okay, and the kids are safe and sleeping soundly. If something happens, I will definitely know immediately.

4. Finally, It's okay to be silly and goofy. We were strict at the beginning to show them whose boss, but then towards the end we sure had our moments of being totally crazy with the kids, and that only brought more joy, smiles, and laughter!

All in all, it was such a great week. I learned a lot about myself by serving others. I experienced parts of the world through the eyes of children, and best of all, I got to love of them like a parent would. I am so glad I am not a parent yet, but I definitely pray for the opportunity to be a mother one day because I look forward to blessing my family and raising my children in Christ.

Life of a Mom

7 am. Wake up to shouting. Solve the problem among four kids with an easy compromise, but it was difficult because I still didn't have my cup of coffee. 7:15 Finally get coffee. Shower and get ready for the day. Breakfast. Yesterday's dirty dishes. Start dishwasher. Clean counters. Sweep floor. Get kids ready for church. Brush and style hair. 8:55 out the door for church. Get the kids to Sunday School. Another rambunctious adventure, and the leaders weren't ready for us. 9:15 Worship. Wonderful break, finally. 10:30 Get kids from Sunday School. Donut craze in fellowship hall. The wild behavior continues. Played games all day. Books, Xbox Kinect, dance parties, Go Fish, card games, puzzles, Basketball, and Hide and Seek the Cell Phone. Lunch in the middle of all that, then prepared dinner. Ate, then danced some more, then played Monopoly. Kids finally go to bed at 7:30. Time to start in on the homework and solidify future plans. Oh no. Kid wakes up sick, barfing galore in his bed, on the floor, and over his stuffed animal. Strip the bed, find new sheets, get him some meds and back to sleep. Now it's time for laundry. One load in with the stinky sheets and dirty table cloth from one meal. Hand scrub and wash the stuffed animal, and dry it so that it's ready to sleep with tomorrow stink-free. 10:30 pm Back to the homework. Midnight: Get to bed for 6 hours of sleep before it's back to the grind with more homework before the kids wake up.

Oh the life of a mom. I sure do admire all the Super Mothers out there!

Daisy's Song (This Love is Stronger)

“Daisy’s Song (This Love is Stronger)” by Dominic Balli.

When that storm comes
Like a hurricane
And the sun seems far away

We will not fear the wind
We will not fear the waves
I can feel your calm within

When this life is shaken
By ragin’ seas
We are not gon’ be afraid

So if ya walk on waves and wind
Then hold my hand and I’ll walk again

Chorus:
This love is stronger than the blood that beats my heart
This love is deeper, than the pain of all these scars
This love goes farther than the hope in answer’s arms
This love is stronger
It’s strong enough for me

V.2
You lived our sorrows,
Befriended all our pain
All that we might rise again

You stole my sickness,
Rested in my disease
All that I might rest in thee

And you alone bring healing,
And for you I’ll wait
But we are not gon’ be afraid

Chorus:

Bridge:
We may be crushed but we are not ever forsaken
We may be struck down but we are not ever destroyed
Then when that fire comes to shine through me your glory
We are not gonna be afraid

Chorus


Just wanted to save this part so that I can give it to someone eventually lol...
Chords here:

Verses and Chorus: Bb F Gm Eb
Pre Chorus: Cm – Bb/D Ebmaj7
Bridge: Eb F Bb-F/Ab-Gm Eb F Bb-F/Ab-Gm Eb F Bb-F/Ab-Gm Eb F Bb

New Year and A New Stage

Life comes in stages. I thought that I had entered the post-college stage of my life where I needed to decide what I wanted to do next, and then set out on that course for my life. I had a new career goal and I started the stage in my life setting out to get to that career, which meant Grad School and things were great. But, in order to pay for grad school, I have to work. I love the work I do, and I pray daily that I will always love what I do and do what I love.

However, recently, times have been getting tough, which means stages are changing once again. School is getting more demanding, and I have to meet certain requirements. Work is getting more demanding as well, and yet things are changing there too.

My body is finally telling me that I can't do both at the same time. Or maybe that is God telling me now I have to pick. I'm not sure if I was defining myself in my work or my school, and I question that on a regular basis. Like am I not defining myself as a child of God and more in something of material value, and therefore is He taking that materialism away so that I stay defined in Him?

But anyways, I am stressed beyond belief. I have definitely cried enough to flood the Ventura River bed this year alone, and maybe twofold in the past 8 months. I feel like I am a little soul facing all these giants first in self-worth (thought I got over that in October), then in the piles of work, then in worry of not having finances to pay for school since I'm getting cut back at work, and then all the math I have to know to pass this last awful CSET that I'm struggling with.

I feel alone in all of this, yet I know that if I keep my thoughts on God, then He will fight the giants for me. All things are possible through Christ who stregthens me. Yet though I have that memorized and know in my heart that God will take care of me, be my provider, my fighter, my strength, my peace, my calm in the storm, my friend, my encourager, my constant, I always forget and come back to the "Woe is me, how can I do this?"

Change is okay and there is luxury and amazing-ness waiting for me at the end of all these struggles. I know I will be stronger for all this, but I need to keep my trust on God, and that I am not doing as well as I ought to be. It has just been a rough start for my new year that has not been filled with happiness. But blessed be the name of the Lord who gives and takes away and in Him I will find all joy and peace.

I love my job

Thursday - Kayaking in the Channel Islands Harbor
The best day of summer camp yet! I set up this kayak tour thanks to Molly with Mike Lamm who is a camp parent and the owner of the CI Kayak Center. He took one group out kayaking for about an hour through the harbor. The other half of our group waited for the arrival of the first group down at a small beach on Victoria just before Silverstrand. It was so exciting to see them arrive at the beach - 17 people kayaking up the shore. Our group hopped in the kayaks and away we went. Let's just say that this second group was much more energetic. They hardly cared about the history - they were so excited to be doing something different and they just wanted to rock the boat and splash each other. Gabbi and Zach (two awkward jr high kids who are dating and who have frequent blowout meltdowns [Gabbi screams and Zach cries]) went in a double kayak together. It was almost the destruction of their relationship. From the beginning Gabbi was screaming because other kayaks were hitting hers or she wasn't going straight enough or Zach wasn't steering correctly. Zach was trying his bestm but was frustrated he wasn't coordinated with Gabbi. Then she was yelling at him and he was upset because he didn't know what he did wrong. Well, somehow they went down the wrong turn in the harbor (not a big deal -the group was on the other side). Kristin and I were in a double together and had to follow them quickly because Gabbi started screaming, and Zach burst into tears and gave up paddling. Gabbi called him a big baby, which was hilarious because she is one too. We had to pull them over to a dock. Gabbi hopped out of the kayak and I slid into the one with Zach. Gabbi then got in with Kristin. The rest of the trip was just fine despite some other kids who were in la-la-land and were struggling with the paddling. The kids had a blast kayaking and seeing the sea stars, sea lion, pelican, and other birds, pirate skulls, a refurbished boats. Bud came and hung out with us all day and watched some of the kayaking. It was so great to have him with us because he could see our program, and having him there made our program feel worthy. Plus he is such a goofball and the kids had so much fun being crazy with him. We went to Coffee Bean nearby and chilled and then we took a walk down the new harbor, across a bridge to a grassy area where we played football, soccer, and played on the rocks. There we saw stingrays! It was such a fun day that was hardly planned, but we relaxed. It was such a healthy day too because we were in the sun, outdoors, and active. It's hard to say which part was my favorite, but I loved Bud coming to hang with us. I was able to relax and just have fun with the kids. I was in God's creation - soaking it up and sharing His joy. It was all so good.


Friday - LazerTag EXTREME

The day started off with Kristin and me making breakfast for the kids - crepes with nutella, bananas, and orange juice. So good!!!! Lazertag has a space theme so when I showed up to work, Charlie Brown was making stuff with foil and I said let's make foil hats like in the movie Signs to protect our brains from the aliens at LazerTag. So it was a big deal and all the Camarillo jr high kids made foil hats with a unicorn point in the middle. It was hilarious. We wore them all day and got looks from everybody! At LazerTag, our whole group got to play each other in the 2 missions we had. We were so intense. Even the ref commented with big bug eyes and a funny voice "You guys are bru-u-tal!" We were so hardcore shooting each other, defending our bases. Again, I loved just getting the chance to play with the kids. I was a kid - not a director for a few minutes. It was so fun. At one point, I was on defense protecting our base and Tucker was trying to shoot the alien at the ceiling. I kept jumping up and down and squatting all to block his laser from killing us and scoring points. After our missions, we played arcade games and hung out. Then we walked to RocketFizz and got candy and sodas. It was such a fun and exciting day!

I love every minute of my job. Of course, I hate the discipline and I hate the lack of respect and manners our kids have a lot of the time. But my mom reminded me the other day that these kids' parents are not training their kids when to say please and thank you and how to show respect. It's my job. I am with the kids more hours each week than their parents. Therefore, it's now my job to guide these kids and train them. Each day is another opportunity to teach them. Plus, God has called me to teach His children. I must be obedient to His call. And He has asked me to train these kids to be obedient servants for Him. WOW! Now that's powerful stuff!

Oh how I love my job and I take joy in the good times and the rough times!

Here's our group in the foil hats!

Soulstice 2010

Preparing for Soulstice was the most challenging thing I have ever had to do, but it is definitely the most rewarding experience. It is my favorite week of the summer because I love camping, worshipping God outdoors, and watching Christ transform the hearts and lives of junior high kids. I spent many days crying because I was so overwhelmed with the details. I am perfectionist so it was difficult to let go of tasks, to delegate them, and to settle for simplicity when I want something to be the best. I sure learned quickly the simplicity can be the best. I also learned that I can still have a say in whatever I delegate. I learned that other people have unique talents and creative ideas. I recognized quickly that God has surrounded me with people not only for emotional support but to physically support and help me with what I need. The weekend before we left for Soulstice was a challenging one. So much needed to get done, and I wanted to hit my goal of 100 kids! I am only one person and I was pushing my body to the extreme. I did not hit my goal, and the struggle of realizing that I would not hit that goal was so tough to handle. My greatest fear is failure, and I felt that if I did not hit 100 kids I would be letting people down. I knew deep down and frequently prayed that God would bring who he wanted to Soulstice, no matter what target goal I had for myself. But then the weekend came where I learned I only had 78 kids and 13 CITS. 91 was not my goal but Christ’s goal, and I had to accept and realize that this year is just a building year. It is my first year planning and executing Soulstice on my own at a different lake – one that is further and many parents may not be comfortable with their kids going so far away. Though I cried every single night of the week prior to Soulstice and multiple times the weekend of, I tried to be strong, to look and act strong when deep down inside I questioned why God was using me. What did he see in me? I am only 21, with very little life experience. I have a deep passion for junior high and I can relate to a lot of their struggles, but I am so weak and young. Why put this much stress and responsibility on my shoulders? Well, what a laugh this is looking back on it. The theme for the week was “Rend your heart” based on Joel 2:12-13 that says rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord for he is gracious and merciful. The whole week we would be studying what it means to be broken before the Lord, that God wants our broken pieces because he makes us perfect, that we need to surrender our life and our struggles, and that repentance leads to restoration. Only God can restore us when we come to Him first, broken and torn in pieces. WOW. So I here I stand bawling my eyes out like a baby when I am reminded that this is where God wants me. I had to get to this place because then He could show off His power and glory in my life. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says his power is made perfect in weakness. Well, duh. I am weak and I allowed Him to use me as I led such an important and life-changing week where many souls would be harvested and changed in this summer Soulstice. Some verses that really spoke to me the weekend before Soulstice: Galatians 6:9-10 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially those who are of the household of faith.” and Psalm 23 specifically “He restores my soul. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters”. And Psalm 27 “The Lord is my light and my salvation: whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” It was the most incredible week – the best Soulstice yet. It went so smoothly. Of course it was tiring and I am still exhausted four days after it. But it went wonderfully and because it was so organized, I delegated, relied on other people’s strengths, and trusted the Lord, I actually had time to jump in the water and hang out with kids. Of course I did not do it alone. I had an incredible team of people who love God and want to bring kids to the Kingdom. That’s really what is all about. God used all of our talents and strengths and even our weaknesses which he meshed together to create something powerfully amazing. Oh how I desire to be sweetly broken by Him because He can use me for great things. And the reward was granted to me the last night when we were singing Lead me to cross whre your love pours out and I saw many of the kisd like these two hear with arms raised high, hearts abandoned, surrendering their all to Christ.

Summer Soulstice

SOULSTICE. It's all that is on my mind. I'm promoting like crazy and planning like crazy. There is so much responsibility involved with this trip, and I feel such a heavy burden of all that needs to be done and the mandatory-ness of 100 kids at Soulstice. I am so overwhelmed, and at times I feel so alone in this. But I know I am not alone - not only do I have an amazing team and leaders and staff who are competent to help me but I also have God who apparently has called me for this. Tonight as I began my nightly cry because of this looming weight, worry, and fear I thought I am so young. I am 21 and yet I am responsible for so much. I feel like I know nothing and I'm not strong enough to handle this, and yet I am reminded from Sunday's message in church that when God calls people, He calls the weak, the sinners, the broken-hearted because He works through them and His power shines through them. So I am just waiting to be used and stretched and I'm relying on the strength of God. I try to remind myself that I'm doing this for the glory of God and that it is by His strength not my own that this trip will be pulled off.